Maybe I am getting bitterer as I grow older, but there is a lot of truck trends that make me shake my head and ask why. Perhaps the funniest part is that these people give me money to make these silly modifications. I have been in the 4×4 industry for 20 years and have made good living selling truck accessories and will continue to do so. But it does not mean that I have to understand why.
Stacks: I just do not understand the logic behind them. First off, they are just plain ugly. If they do not scream out “short penis”, then I do not know what does. Secondly, why purchase a diesel truck if you are not going to haul things with it. Why would you cut a hole in your bed and stick a huge exhaust pipe through it? Also, the whole “roll coal” thing bugs me. For those of you that do not know, to “roll coal” is when you stomp and the gas and black smoke pours out of your tailpipe. Believe it or not, some people think this is cool. I guess it makes them feel that everyone can see how much power they have. It has been proven time and time again that you do not need to “roll coal” to have large horsepower in a diesel. The black smoke is basically unspent fuel, so you are basically dumping $$$ out your exhaust pipe. I know that drag strips want the exhaust pipe pointing up, but I wonder how many of the stacked trucks on the street are hitting the strip as well.
Camouflage: Maybe it is because I am not a hunter or am not redneck enough. Camo seat covers. Camo suspension parts. Camo rocker panels? Really?
Plastic body protection for Jeeps: A few manufactures make plastic panels that are supposed to stick onto your body with double sided tape. They have panels for the rear corners, rocker panels and front fenders of Jeeps, among other things. They are not meant to give you added protection, or at least I do not think they are meant to. How much protection will a piece of 1/8” hard plastic give you from rocks and such? They are meant so that the mall crawlers look tough…
Stinger bumpers: I should probably reword that. Stinger bumpers on stock or almost stock vehicles. I understand the concept of stingers and how they MAY help a rock crawler from rolling end over end. What I do not understand is stingers on a Jeep TJ with a 2” body lift and 33” tall tires. Or stingers that stick out 3 feet from the vehicle. Most of them are not braced enough to help the vehicle from going end over end or preventing radiator damage. Not to mention they look goofy.
Pocket Flares: I have to admit that fender flares look good on a lot of vehicles, especially when they are painted to match the colour of the vehicle. However, pocket flares are just another method to make a mall crawler look tough. Fake bolts on your fender flares? Real bolts on flares came about from cut out fender flares. When cutting out your fenders for more clearance, there was no lip to attach the flares to, so they were bolted on the outside of the flare. Fake bolts to make your vehicle look tough are like the plastic body protection….
Chrome Trim Everywhere: Some of these trucks look like a Canadian Tire store exploded on them. Chrome door handles, mirror covers, fuel tank door, rocker panels, door edge moulding, B pillar posts, vent visors, hood guard, etc. I like a little bit of chrome, but think it is overkill to purchase everything in the catalogue! Use some discretion…
Taking the doors off your Cherokee: Yes, your Cherokee or Grand Cherokee is a Jeep. You believe that Jeeps should have removable doors and be driven all summer without doors. I get it. Having doors off helps you lean out and see upcoming obstacles better. Gotcha. I have two things for you to think about. Driving around without doors on your Cherokee not only makes you look like an idiot, but it is illegal to drive without doors if the vehicle came without removable doors. Secondly, is your Cherokee with a spacer lift and 31” tires really taking you on trails so severe that you need to lean out to see obstacles? Learn how to drive off road. Buy a CJ, TJ or new JK Jeep. It will save you being laughed at behind your back on so many levels.
Hummers: There are two kinds of Hummer owners. The ones that think they are the ultimate 4×4 and the ones drive one because they think Hummers are cool. Both are wrong on so many levels. Granted, the original Hummer is a unique vehicle that has helped soldiers overseas, but take it out of the wide open desert and the original Hummer too wide to wheel effectively. If I am going to spend that much money on a vehicle, it had better be able to go down an average mountain trail without| issues. The H2 is a Hummer body on a GM pickup chassis. So, to the soccer mom thinking she is so cool driving the H2 around, you are not. As for the H3, I actually like the way it looks. But again, it is not an ultimate 4×4 machine that the Hummer name is typically associated with. It is a glorified SUV on a GMC Canyon chassis.
Snorkels: I know I am going to get lambasted over this one, but I think they are ugly! They were originally developed in Australia as a way to keep the air intake above the dust as well as high water crossing levels. To those of you that have snorkels, I ask you this: When was the last time you went in water over your hood? I do not know why, but snorkels bug me. Not only do I find them ugly, but a lot of them are added because the owner thinks they look cool. That is two points against them…
Bad Home Fabrication: I can understand wanting to modify your 4×4 to suit your needs, taste or budget. I love some of the home garage fabrication that I have seen. There are a some incredible fabricators that have come up with some ingenious ideas. However, I have seen some fabrication that just plain scares me. Poor fabrication skills and unclear thought processes, along with lack of maintenance are some of the reasons that I feel vehicles should have mandatory inspections every two years. I also feel that drivers should have a mandatory drivers test every 5 years, but that is whole different article in itself. Please, have someone look at the parts you have fabricated and welded before you take your vehicle on the road and trails. For the sake of my family’s safety.
As I mentioned earlier, maybe I am just becoming a grumpy old man. I know that some of the items will get people pissed off. In the end result, I guess it goes back to everyone having a right to their own opinion. I do not understand why people do things that makes their truck ugly, what makes certain things “cool” and I will sure as hell never understand women. Can anyone explain why some of the above trends are deemed as being cool?
Agree x10 LOL
That’s AWESOME!!! Lol!
2 lift blocks stacked on the front axle…………..awesome
I was planning on putting a snorkel on my truck. I’ve crossed water deep enough to hydrolock my engine twice now. I’m putting in a rebuilt 22re now and I think spending $150 and looking like a dork to some people is fine if it saves my connecting rods from bending and wrecking my new engine. I agree with all your other points though haha, just don’t hate on something cause you never found a good enough reason to put one on your truck.
The article was partially done in fun and to see what everyone else’s thoughts were. No worries, there will be a follow up article done that will have everyone elses suggestions, like Truck Balls. There will also be another article with the top 10 truck trends that I love.
ok i can understand your points here, but you also have to think of other peoples needs and thoughts of how THEY want their vehicle to look, not how others want it to look. theres nothin wrong with lifts, big tires, stacks on a diesel, and a stinger bar for looks. i work at an accessory shop and come across all of these on a daily basis. i understand what the customer wants and even if i dont, while im adding it for him/her i come up with my own reasonable answers for why they would want it. you have to have an open mind.